It's Not Fair to Me

 

 

It's Not Fair to Me
©Bill Harley & Keith Munslow, All rights reserved.
Reprints with permission only

I got one and he got two
It's not fair to me
I got a brown one and he got blue
It's not fair to me
He beat my score on the video game
It's not fair to me
We both did it, but I got blamed
It's not fair to me

Is anybody listening?
Can’t anybody see?
I’m the one who’s suffering
And it’s not fair to me

My brother got a brand new bike
It's not fair to me
And I got his old one that I don't like
It's not fair to me
The window on my side won’t go down
It's not fair to me
I got a blue one and he got brown
It's not fair to me

The whole world is against me
It’s so plain to see
Someone call the President
It’s not fair to me

I dropped my ice cream in the sand
It's not fair to me
And he still has his in his hand
It's not fair to me
You always think you have it worse
It's not fair to me
Why can’t you see I’m the one who’s cursed?
It's not fair to me

You know that we might both be wrong
To make this great big fuss
It‘s not just not fair to me
It’s not fair to us

It’s not fair to us
It’s not fair to us
We’re all bozos on this bus
It’s not fair to us

It’s not fair to me
It’s not fair to me
Why can't anybody see?
It’s not fair to me

Stinkeye
©Bill Harley & Keith Munslow, All rights reserved.
Reprints with permission only

I found an old book in the library
While I was searching for something to read
It had hexes and charms and spells to do harm
It seemed like it was calling to me
There were chapters on powders and potions
It even had Love Potion #9
But I stopped messin’ when I saw it had a lesson
On how to give the old stinkeye

Chorus
I'm talking 'bout
Stinkeye – it’s a nasty old stare
Stinkeye – some kind of poisonous glare
Stinkeye – be careful what you do
Because it might come back on you

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah

It said if there’s someone who’s hurt you
Or somebody's been doing you wrong
Just study this spell, you learn it quite well
And they won’t be happy for long
So I made a list of people who hurt me
And anyone that ever made me cry
When I thought of getting’ even, I knew I wasn’t leavin’
Till I learned to give the old stinkeye

Chorus

I took the book in the restroom to try it
I spoke the spell without any fear
But then I started to shake, I made a big mistake
I took a look in the mirror
I gave myself the stinkeye
I gave myself the stinkeye

Oh my eyes were buggin’ out, my head was spinnin’ round
I passed out for an hour or so
I woke up hopping around, making croaking sounds
I'd turned myself into a toad
So listen up everybody
Be careful what you do
Stay away from evil books and don’t practice dirty looks
Or the same thing could happen to you

Chorus

My Eraser
©Keith Munslow, All rights reserved.
Reprints with permission only

Chorus:
My eraser, my eraser
He helps me when my pencil goes astray
My eraser, my eraser
He always makes the bad stuff go away


I was drawing a picture of my teacher
With pointy teeth and great big giant ears
Before she could see what I was up to
My eraser made the whole thing disappear

Chorus:

The question on the test in geography
Said, "What's the capital of Texas?"
I wrote, "France"
My eraser knew that couldn't be the answer
So he jumped right in and gave me a second chance

Chorus:

He gets so worn down fixin' my mistakes
I don't know how much more of this he can take
I tell him I'm sorry for what I put him through
But then he looks at me and says, "It's just what I was born to do!"

Chorus:

So when you're working on a puzzle or a novel
And things don't go exactly as you planned
Just remember your old friend on the pencil's other end
He's always there to lend a helping hand

Chorus:

Everybody's a Baby 'Bout Something
©Bill Harley, All rights reserved
Reprints with permission only

My sister likes her butter and noodles
Made in her own special way
If the butter doesn’t melt like she likes it
Somebody is going to pay
Her bottom lip puffs out
You see her start to pout
When she's like that there’s nothing you can say

Cause everybody’s a baby ‘bout something
Waa waa waa, waa waa waa
Something makes everybody whi-i-ine
Waa waa waa, waa waa waa

Don't say it’s no big deal
That’s not the way it feels
Everybody’s a baby ‘bout something sometime
Waa waa waa, waa waa waa

My brother has to sit by the window
Every time we go to the store
He doesn’t want to sit in the middle
He has to sit by the door
As we drive down the street
He screams and kicks his feet
Till you can’t take it anymore

Cause everybody’s a baby ‘bout something
Waa waa waa, waa waa waa
Something makes everybody whi-i-ine
Waa waa waa, waa waa waa
Don’t say it doesn’t matter
It just makes him feel sadder
Everybody’s a baby ‘bout something sometime
Waa waa waa, waa waa waa

Don’t tell me that the sun is shining
I don't care
I don’t care cause I’m busy whining

Someone scratched my uncle’s new pick-up
Something spilled on mom’s new rug
My dad got stuck in the traffic
My teacher lost her favorite coffee mug
Grandmas, grandpas, uncles, aunts
Kids in diapers, men in pants
They all whine when they get the chance

Cause everybody’s a baby ‘bout something
Waa waa waa, waa waa waa
Something makes everybody whi-i-ine
Waa waa waa, waa waa waa
Don't say it’s no big deal
That’s not the way it feels
Don’t say it doesn’t matter
It just makes us feel sadder
If you felt like we do
Then you’d be whining too
Everybody’s a baby ‘bout something sometime
Waa waa waa, waa waa waa

Swimming
©Bill Harley, All rights reserved
Reprints with permission only

When the pavement burns the soles of my feet
Temperature's rising and I can take the heat
Dontcha know
There’s a place I like to go
When the sun is climbin’ high in the sky
No shade around and I think I might die
There’s a place
Puts a smile on my face

Talking bout swimming
Swimming in the water
Diving like a dolphin
Splashing like an otter

Might be an ocean, might be a pool
Might be a puddle, just as long as it’s cool
I got to jump in
I got to get my rump in
Could be a pond or a river that flows
Could be a bathtub, you know it could be a hose
It doesn’t matter, as long as it’s water

It gets me so high, to dive so low
Playing water tag or marco polo
Marco? Marco? Hey, Marco?
Did you guys get out? Where are you?

I’m jumping in with a big belly flop
You better watch out, you’re gonna get sopped
I ain’t joking
You’re gonna be soaking
Sometimes, you know, I stay in all afternoon
I get out my body looks like a prune
But that’s okay
I’m happy that way

Talking bout swimming
Swimming in the water
Diving like a dolphin
Splashing like an otter

Dog Named Bo
©Bill Harley, All rights reserved
Reprints with permission only

My dad took a trip to the city pound
I got a dog named Bo
He brought back a puppy, saying "Look what I found"
I got a dog named Bo
He put the puppy down and it piddled on the floor
I got a dog named Bo
It ran around the house, then it did it some more
I got a dog named Bo

He barks like crazy, he loves to chew
He doesn’t always come when I call
He drools and sheds and sleeps on my bed
But he’s the best dog of ‘em all
Bo’s the best dog of ‘em all

Mom left her sandwich on the counter in the kitchen
I got a dog named Bo
When she came back that sandwich was missing
I got a dog named Bo
"Where’s my lunch?" I heard mom wail
I got a dog named Bo
Bo licked his lips and he wagged his tail
I got a dog named Bo

He barks like crazy, he loves to chew
He doesn’t always come when I call
He drools and sheds and sleeps on my bed
But he’s the best dog of ‘em all
Bo’s the best dog of ‘em all

He’s got one ear up and one ear down
I got a dog named Bo
His tail is white and his head is brown
I got a dog named Bo
Loves to bark at the neighbor’s cat
I got a dog named Bo
Tail waves around like a baseball bat
I got a dog named Bo

He barks like crazy, he loves to chew
He doesn’t always come when I call
He drools and sheds and sleeps on my bed
But he’s the best dog of ‘em all
Bo’s the best dog of ‘em all

We get in the car, we go for a ride
I got a dog named Bo
I roll the window down he sticks his head outside
I got a dog named Bo
He hangs out his tongue and he squints his eyes
I got a dog named Bo
Barks at everybody when we drive by
I got a dog named Bo

He barks all the time, he loves to chew
He doesn’t always come when I call
He drools and sheds and sleeps on my bed
He’s the best dog of ‘em all
Bo’s the best dog of ‘em all

Bo's the best dog of 'em all

Copycat
©Keith Munslow, All rights reserved.
Reprints with permission only

I want to do what you do
I want to say what you say
I want to go where you go
I want to play what you play

Chorus:
Cause I’m a copycat
Copycat
Copycat
Copycat
Meow!

I want to watch what you watch
I want to wear what you wear
I want to eat what you eat
And cut my hair like your hair

Chorus:

You know I just can’t help myself
It isn’t like I planned it
It’s just the things that you do and say are so cool
I can’t stand it!

That’s why

Chorus:

I read the books that you read
I like the music you like
I’ve got a hat just like that
My bike’s the same as your bike

But lately I’ve been noticing something new
My little brother’s doing all the things I do
He’s saying what I say - he’s playing what I play
He’s goin' where I’m goin' every single day

'Cause he’s a copycat
Copycat
Copycat
Copycat
Copycat
Copycat
Copycat
Meow!

Give Me Back My Hat
©Keith Munslow, All rights reserved.
Reprints with permission only

Give me back my hat
'Cause my head is gettin' cold
You better give me back my hat
'Cause my head is gettin' cold
You said, "Don’t tell the teacher!"
But I already told

We were out at recess
One cold winters day
You took my hat, and just like that
You laughed and ran away

You better give me back my hat
'Cause my head is gettin' cold
You said, "Don’t tell the teacher!"
Oh, but I already told

I chased you around the monkey bars
I chased you past the swings
I got icicles forming in my hair
And my ears are startin' to sting

You better give me back my hat
'Cause my head is gettin' cold
You said, "Don’t tell the teacher!"
Oh, but I already told

You better give me back my hat
'Cause my head is gettin' cold
You said, "Don’t tell the teacher!"
Oh, but I already told

Teacher blew the whistle
Then she called your name
She said, "You come over here right now!
"This is not a game!

"Now, give this young man back his hat
"And say you’re sorry, too
"Oh, and one more thing, for the rest of the week
"There's no recess for you!"

She made you give me back my hat
'Cause my head was gettin' cold
You said, "Don’t tell the teacher!"
Oh, but I already told

He Got Up Again
©Bill Harley, All rights reserved
Reprints with permission only

My baby brother’s crazy, he’s at it again
I've seen it a hundred times and know how it ends
He's got bumps and bruises from all the times he’s fallen
He’s safer on the floor, you know he's better off crawling
I think he’s nuts, look in his eyes
You shouldn't see that in someone his size
I can't say what's he's thinking 'cause he can't even talk
But he won't give up until he can walk

He got up and he fell down
He got up and he fell down
He got up and he fell down
So he got up again
He fell down so he got up
He fell down so he got up
He fell down so he got up again

There’s a girl on my the street, I see her every day
She’s out in her driveway just plugging away
She’s got scrapes on her elbows, cuts on her knees
I wish someone would tell her just to her stop it please
I watch the wheel wobble as she makes the turn
There must be some other way she could learn
She could ride her bike the way she did before
But the training wheels are off and she won’t use them anymore

She got up and she fell down
She got up and she fell down
She got up and she fell down
So she got up again
She fell down so she got up
She fell down so she got up
She fell down so she got up again

Everybody's got a hill that they’re trying to climb
You could fall down once and give up, or you could get up one more time

My dad puts on his skates, tries it again
He steps out on the ice and falls on his rear end
He’s got bumps and bruises, he’s sore and cold
He’s trying to learn to skate and he’s forty years old
I tell him to stop, he won’t take my advice
Instead he crawls around out there on the ice
But I guess anyone who got anywhere at all
Before they learned to fly, they surely had to fall

He got up and he fell down
He got up and he fell down
He got up and he fell down
So he got up again
He fell down so he got up
He fell down so he got up
He fell down so he got up again

If you get up and you fall down
If you get up and you fall down
If you get up and you fall down
Then just get up again
If you fall down then just get up
If you fall down then just get up
If you fall down then just get up again

Hideous Sweater
©Keith Munslow, All rights reserved.
Reprints with permission only

(B: Hey, Keith! You ready to go?
K: Um, yeah. I’m ready to go. I don't think you're ready to go.
B: What do you mean?
K: You cannot wear that.
B: What?)


Chorus:
Why must you wear that hideous sweater
Why must you wear that hideous sweater
Why must you wear that hideous sweater
When we go out together

It's yellow and purple, magenta and green
(B: my favorite colors)
You got it for Christmas from your Aunt Pauline
It's the ugliest sweater that I've ever seen
But you love it, you love it, you do

Chorus

It looks like some mangled up, tangled up yarn
(B: Says you)
That was barfed up by the old cat that lives in the barn
(B: Wait a minute)
It's all full of holes and it's not worth a darn
But you love it, you love it, you do

Chorus

K: I just can’t believe all the weird things you do
B: I’m an original – yep, through and through!
K: You’ll never change, I know that much is true
B: Why can’t you admit it, that I’m just like you?

(K: Aw- What! No, you are not.
B: Keith, you're not one to talk.
K: Wha- what are you talking about?
B: Look at what you're wearing.
K: What I'm wearing?
B: Yeah, that thing.
K: It's beautiful.)

How 'bout this old tee shirt that you always wear
(K: It's vintage)
It's covered in grease stains and mostly threadbare
(K: So?)
It smells something awful but you just don't care
You love it, you love it, you do
(B: You know that's the truth)

Why must you wear that hideous sweater/tee shirt
Why must you wear that hideous sweater/tee shirt
Why must you wear that hideous sweater/tee shirt
When we go out together
When we go out together

(B: Hey, Keith? Could I borrow that?)