One More Time

 

 

Pizza Shake
©Bill Harley, All rights reserved
Reprints with permission only

Also found on "Big Big World"

Inspired by John McCutcheon, who really did. So did my kids. It doesn’t taste very good.

Two pieces left, five of us here
Everybody’s still hungry, nobody wants to share
If we cut’ em up in pieces, there’s not enough to eat
I got an idea, now, listen to me
Get down the blender, plug it in
Push that button and give it a spin
ice cream and pizza they make me drool
If we mix ‘em up together, yeah, it’s gotta be cool

CHORUS
It’s a Pizza shake, hey baby, it’s a pizza shake
Hey maybe make your stomach ache, Hey baby it’s a pizza shake
Push that button up to puree, we’re gonna shake the pizza away
Yeah, yeah

Mix vanilla ice cream and pistachio
Milk and olives and oregano
Mushrooms, onions just might do
Put in the chocolate syrup too
Punch that button, let it grind
With anything else that you might find
Chunks of mozzarella, pepperoni too
Don’t worry baby, cause there’s plenty for you
Of my

CHORUS

You got your peppermint twist and jellyroll
chocolate kiss and donut hole, all those things they are so fine
But the pizza shake will blow your mind

Mom says we’re crazy, dad says we’re nuts
Don’t say it to their face but they don’t have any guts
This stuff’ll be awesome, this stuff’ll be neat
It can’t be any worse than what they make us eat
Turn off the blender, get the glasses down
We’re gonna fill them up, we’re gonna pass ‘em around
Hey why is everybody going out the door
Whatsa matter aren’t you hungry any more?
for my

CHORUS

You got your peppermint twist, jellyroll
chocolate kiss and your donut hole, all those things they are so fine
But the pizza shake is gonna blow your mind

Love of the Game
©Bill Harley, All rights reserved
Reprints with permission only

Also found on "There's a Pea on My Plate"

I wrote this for my son Noah after his team went a whole season without scoring. I honestly believe we’re better off if we let kids play by themselves. But this song is for the kids who keep playing, and for the coaches who remember that for almost all of us, sports is not a religion about winning, but a way to enjoy being alive.

The first day of practice, it was easy to see
Our soccer team wasn’t all it could be
The coach kicked the ball out, said, “Let’s have some fun”
Some kid yelled out, “Watch me hit a home run”
The first game that week was quite a surprise
We were losing six - nothing before we opened our eyes
The score was twelve - zip at the end of the day
Our coach called us over and I heard him say

CHORUS
Sometimes you lose, and sometimes you win
If they knock you down, just get up again
If you’ve done your best, then don’t be ashamed
‘Cause you play for the love of the game

So I showed up the next week all ready to play
But wouldn’t you know, it went the same way
Their team scored first, then again and again
And again and again and again and again
Week after week it was always the same
We never scored and we lost every game
The other teams won and the other teams cheered
While the voice of my coach just rang in my ears, sayin’

CHORUS

Eight games we’ve lost, now how many more?
Some kid asked our coach, “What’s it feel like to score?”
But still I show up on each Saturday
‘Cause I like to run, and I love to play

Last game of the season, what could be worse
Our team in last, their team in first
They’re big and fast, we’re small slow
Who picked these teams that’s what I want to know
Their team scored first, but then we held fast
We stayed in position, sometimes we passed
With time running out, it looked like they’d win
Till I centered the ball and Todd kicked it in
The ref blew the whistle, the game was all done
The score was all tied, but it felt like we’d won
Our coach screamed and shouted, he yelled “Way to go!”
I said, “Hey coach, calm down, don’t you know?”

CHORUS

There Goes My Brother Again
©Bill Harley, All rights reserved
Reprints with permission only

Also found on "50 Ways to Fool Your Mother" and "Play It Again"

I’ve saved my nickels,
I’ve saved my dimes,
I’ve saved my quarters too
I’ve got twelve dollars
up in my room
Here’s what I’m going to do:
Down at the toy store
I saw a model,
one that I want to buy
I’m going out the door
when my mom says,
“Your brother’s going to cry
please take him with you”
“Ah, mom!”
So I take my brother down to the toy store,
we get there and walk inside
I’m looking all a round for the model,
the one that I want to buy
When up comes a lady
who works at the store,
“Young man” I hear her say
“If this is your brother,
he just broke a toy and
somebody’s going to pay,
Eleven ninety five, please”
Oh, there goes my brother again,
ruining all of my plans

CHORUS
I know I should love him
I know what they say
and I would
if he’d just go away

After I spend all day at school
I run the whole way home
I’m gonna meet my friends
at the ball field
I’m gonna go alone
But when I get there,
my father is waiting,
there’s something he has to do
He says, “Here’s your brother, all alone
Please take him along with you”
“Oh dad!”
So I take my brother
down to the ball field
He says he wants to play
I say he can’t so he starts to cry
so I let him have his way
But as soon as we start
he gets hit in the face
By a ball that
my friend Bobby throws
He gets a nose bleed,
he starts to scream
And I have to take him home, oh

CHORUS

My mother tells me
my brother is sick
They don’t know what to do
They go and take him down to the doctor
She says, “He has the flu”
He stays in bed for almost a week
So sick he can hardly smile
And although he bugs me,
I still kinda like him
And miss him every once in a while
So I go to my room,
I open my drawer
The one that I always lock
I get out my favorite comic book
The one underneath my socks
I go and take it in to my brother
I say, “He can have a look”
He starts to turn green
and then throws up,
right on my comic book!, oh

CHORUS
I know I should love him,
I know that it’s true
And I will
when I turn forty-two!

There's a Pea on My Plate
©Bill Harley, All rights reserved
Reprints with permission only

Also found on "There's a Pea on My Plate"

The never-ending struggle. A kid’s first line of defense is a closed mouth. It’s probably not worth winning, if you’re the parent.

There’s a pea on my plate that my mother put there
She knows I don’t like peas but she doesn’t care
She says come on try it now it’s not the worst
If you want some ice cream, you must eat that pea first
And I really did put the pea on my spoon
But I made a mistake and my mouth closed too soon
It slipped off the spoon and fell on to the floor – whoops!
My mom said don’t worry, she’s got plenty more

There’s a pea on my plate that my mother put there
Peas make me vomit but she doesn’t care
They’re wrinkled and mushy and slimy and green
I wonder what happened that made her so mean
There’s really no telling how much this will hurt
But I have to eat it ‘cause I want dessert
It shouldn’t have happened, it’s true I suppose
Somehow by mistake it got stuck up my nose

There’s a pea on my plate that my mother put there
She knows I’m not hungry, but she doesn’t care
I tell her if she makes me eat it, I’ll die
She says that she’s sorry to hear that, bye bye
The pea rolls on my plate, forward and back
It rolls round and round like a train on a track
Faster and faster it huffs and it puffs
Till it rolls of the track and my mom says “Enough!”

There’s a pea on my plate that my mother put there
It’s cold and it’s clammy, but she doesn’t care
It’s hard to believe that just one stupid pea
Is all that stands between some ice cream and me
So we sit at the table, just me and my mom
My sister, my brother, my father, they’re gone
I hear the clock ticking, now it’s getting late
For me and my mom and that pea on my plate

There’s a pea on my plate that my mother put there
She says that she really thinks she’s being fair
Just one little bite and this whole thing will stop
And I can have ice cream with sprinkles on top
She knows that she’s got me, she’ll win, there’s no doubt
She knows ice cream’s something I can’t live without
She knows this is one fight that she cannot lose
I say, “Skip the ice cream, may I be excused?”

I Don't Wanna Wait
©Bill Harley, All rights reserved
Reprints with permission only

Also found on "Big Big World"

I wrote this song to have a Cajun feel, and then had Steve Riley from Lafayette, Louisiana, play accordion. He’s got a great album on Rounder Records---it’s great to dance to. Bon temp tout le temp!!

Tell me, won’t you tell me, tell me why it’s so
Grownups make you hurry, then they go so slow
Tell me, won’t you tell me, tell me why it’s true
You always make me hurry then I have to wait for you

CHORUS
Oh, I don’t wanna wait anymore anymore,
I don’t wanna wait anymore
I don’t wanna wait anymore anymore,
I don’t wanna wait anymore
I don’t wanna wait anymore anymore,
I don’t wanna wait anymore
I don’t wanna wait anymore anymore,
I don’t wanna wait anymore

Standing at the doorway, while you talk to Aunt Louise
There’s nothing to do at her house, her perfume makes me sneeze
But you just stand there talking, and you never say goodbye
The sun comes up, the sun goes down, I just want to die

CHORUS

I go to the store for candy, I walk up to pay
I know the cashier sees me but I stand there half the day
She helps all the grownups, it really makes me burn
‘Cause when I say excuse me, she says “Wait your turn!”
NO!

CHORUS

When a grownup says “Just a minute”, I have to roll my eyes
‘Cause a minute’s not a minute, it’s an hour in disguise
When you want my attention, and it seems you can’t get through
You can just remember, I learned it all from you

Moving Day
©Bill Harley, All rights reserved
Reprints with permission only

Also found on "There's a Pea on My Plate"

I think this song means more with a kid singing, and Sara Miller did a great job.

Car’s full,
Trunks packed -
Stuff on the roof rack.
Mom says
We leave soon.
Last time
In my room.
One last look out my window -
The yard, the street,
the place I know.
I go, they stay -
It’s moving day.

Here’s where
My bed stood.
Floors made
Of old wood.
Mom left
The light on
Walls marked
With crayon.
The door I slammed when I was mad.
The place I cried when I was sad.
I go, they stay
It’s moving day.

When I grow up, I might come back
To this place again.
If I find some kids live here
I’ll tell them who I am.

“Let’s go,” Dad calls
I guess that’s all
Goodbye house,
Goodbye room
I won’t be back soon
Down the steps,
Out the front door
Now I don’t live here
Anymore.
Part of my heart stays
On moving day

Everyone's a Little Bit Different
©Bill Harley, All rights reserved
Reprints with permission only

Also found on "Lunchroom Tales"

Sitting on a bench in the park
Watching all the people till it gets dark
Smiling at them as they pass by
Some look away, some say hi
Some are big, some are small
Some are short, some are tall
Some got hair down to their knees
Some got hair just like me

CHORUS
Everyone’s a little bit different
Everybody that I see
Everyone’s a little bit different
That’s okay with me
Everyone’s a little bit different
Black, white, red, yellow, brown
Everyone’s a little bit different
It makes the world go round

Some like earrings on their nose
Some paint the nails upon their toes
Some get off on purple hair
Some like bright red underwear
Some like ketchup on their eggs
Some like hair upon their legs
Some like sandals, some like boots
One man’s poison is another man’s fruit

CHORUS

It’s a miracle to me
We’re different
It is just a mystery
We’re different
Six billion people breathing air
We’re different
No two the same anywhere
We’re different

story – monologue

CHORUS

You can’t make me just like you
I can’t make you just like me
I think the best that we can do
Is just to let each other be

CHORUS

My Dog Sam
©Bill Harley, All rights reserved
Reprints with permission only

Also found on "50 Ways to Fool Your Mother"

CHORUS
My dog Sam was a good old dog;
he was my best friend
Now he’s gone and he won’t be back,
and I’ll never see him again
I’ll never see him again

My mom brought him from the pound when I was only three
She gave him baths, my dad gave him bones, but he mostly belonged to me
He mostly belonged to me.

CHORUS

Sam chased rabbits, Sam chased squirrels, one time he caught a skunk
We washed him in tomato juice, but you know that dog still stunk
You know that dog still stunk.

CHORUS

The first night that I slept outside I was so scared I thought I’d die
The sky was big and the night was dark, but Sam stayed right by my side
He slept right by my side.

CHORUS

The other night I woke from sleep, I knew something was wrong
I’d seen Sam in my dreams and I knew that old Sam was gone
I knew that old Sam was gone.

CHORUS

I’ve still got Sam’s tennis ball, I keep it in my penny can
I’m gonna get me another dog, but I’ll never get another Sam
I’ll never get another Sam

CHORUS

Pirate Song
©Bill Harley, All rights reserved
Reprints with permission only

Also found on "Big Big World"

I think a little piracy at an early age is probably a good thing. I figure if you don’t let it out in a safe place, it will show up someplace else. Like Wall Street!!

Up in the morning out of bed
I put a bandana on my head
I put a patch up on my eye
Run downstairs and then I cry
Run downstairs and then I cry

CHORUS:
Yo ho ho, don’t you know
A pirate’s life is great-so
‘Cause we don’t take baths, and we don’t take naps
And we don’t clean our plates-o

When they put food on my plate
I will not touch the stuff I hate
They say “Won’t you take a bite?”
I shout out loud with all my might
Shout out loud with all my might

CHORUS

Then they sit me on their lap
They say it’s time to take a nap
I might be tired but I don’t go
A crabby pirate just says no
A crabby pirate just says no

CHORUS

I got a pirate ship and a pirate crew
I’ve got a pirate brother too
Captain is my pairate’s rank
We’ll make our parents walk the plank
We’ll make our parents walk the plank

CHORUS

I eat my dinner at the end of the day
I put my pirate stuff away
Take a bath, climb in bed
Pirate dreams are in my head
Pirate dreams are in my head

I'm Busy
©Bill Harley, All rights reserved
Reprints with permission only

Also found on "You're in Trouble" and "Dinosaurs Never Say Please"

Please excuse me Dad,
but there's something at the door
I never have seen anything
that's quite like it before

Yes that's very nice,
but in a little while,
I'm busy.

Dad, I hate to bother you,
but it wants to come inside
It's orange and green and brown,
it's got this very hairy hide
It's got a big head way up north,
and a long tail in the south
And about three hundred teeth or so
are living in it's mouth

Please dear not right now,
you just run along
Yes that's very nice,
but in a little while,
I'm busy

Dad! It ripped the door down!
It tore it off the frame!
I really tried to tell you, Dad
it's not me that you can blame
And now it's in the house,
can't you hear it groan?
It told me it was hungry,
and then it ate our phone

You'll just have to wait,
go and tell your mom
Please dear not right now,
you just run along
Yes that's very nice,
but in a little while,
I'm busy

Dad!! Put down your paper,
this really is no joke
It just ate up the kitchen
and now it's blowing smoke
It's awful and it's angry
and it's very, very mad
It says that's it's still hungry
and it wants to eat you Dad!

Haven't you been listening?
I've got things to do!!
You'll just have to wait,
go and tell your mom
Please dear not right now,
you just run along
Yes that's very nice,
but in a little while,
I'm busy

Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!
It's right behind your chair!
Its mouth is hanging open,
its tongue is wagging in the air!
If you get up now,
I think that you could run
You could jump outside the window
before you're really done!
I know you think I'm kidding
but I'm really, really not!
I don't want to lose you, Dad
you're the only one I've got!

I've heard quite enough!
Don't bother me again!
Haven't you been listening,
I've got things to do
You'll just have to wait,
go and tell your mom
Please dear, not right now,
you just run along
Yes that's very nice,
but in a little while,
I'm....
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH -
gulp - BURP!

Grownups Are Strange
©Bill Harley, All rights reserved
Reprints with permission only

Also found on "Grownups Are Strange" and "Yes to Running!"

Yes, that’s true, but kids are too.

Yeah listen to me now gather ‘round,
All of you kids don’t you make a sound
‘Cause I’m gonna tell ya I’m gonna give you the news
Talk about something that could happen to you
I’m talkin’ ‘bout grownups, what they call adults
They’re very strange but it’s not their fault
‘Cause once they were children, they were as good as gold,
But then they got weird ‘cause then they got old

Yeah, grownups are strange that’s a fact,
But there’s just goin’ forward, you can’t go back
Grownups are weird, yes that’s true,
Someday that could happen to you

Now grownups get to be in charge,
They get to stay up late, they get to drive their cars
They make the rules and they say what’s what,
And they can talk until they drive you nuts
But something happened since they were kids,
‘Cause their brains don’t work as well as they did
You ask them a question, you think they’re there
Til the say “Huh, what?” and give you a stare

Well grownups are strange that’s a fact,
But you got to go forward, you can’t go back
Grownups are weird, yes that’s true,
Someday that’s gonna happen to you

Yes sooner or later, things will change
You’ll star eating weird food, you’re acting strange
You’ll know it’s come, you’ll have a clue
When you start saying things that were said to you
Like: “Stop fooling around!” “Make your bed!”
“Haven’t you heard one word I’ve said?”
“I don’t want to tell you one more time!”
“Pick-up your clothes before I lose my mind!”

Yeah, grownups are strange that’s a fact,
But there’s only goin’ forward, you cannot go back
Grownups are weird, yes that’s true,
Someday that’s gonna happen to you

Yeah ‘cause I made a promise when I was a kid
I would never grow up no matter what I did
I did pretty well for twenty years or so
But then something happened, and what do you know?
Well now I’m strange, that’s a fact
I have been going forward, I can’t go back
Now I’m weird, yes that’s true
Ha-ha-ha, it’s going to happen to you.

Well grownups are strange that’s a fact,
But you got to go forward, you can’t go back
Grownups are weird, yes that’s true,
Someday that’s gonna happen to you

You Shoulda Been There
©Bill Harley, All rights reserved
Reprints with permission only

Also found on "There's a Pea on My Plate"

I’d been listening to a group called The Swan Silvertones – an old gospel group. This is what came out. Here’s to Claude Jeter and the rest of the Silvertones. And here’s to everybody getting along.

You shoulda been there
You shoulda been there
You shoulda been there
You know that everybody came

I’ve been looking all over
I’ve been looking for you
Did you hear what happened
Did you hear the news
People talking ‘bout the party
Everybody everywhere
Everybody had a good time
You shoulda been there

They came from the mountain
They came from the sea (from the sea)
They came from New York
And gay Paree (oo la la)
They came from China
Zimbabwe too (Zimbabwe too)
They came from all over
Man where were you! (where were you)

CHORUS
You shoulda been there (shoulda been there)
You shoulda been there (shoulda been there)
There was food on the table (on the table)
There was music in the air (in the air)
Everybody had a good time (oo)
Everybody was fair (oo)
Everybody was happy (yeah)
You shoulda been there (shoulda been there)

Some people came bare foot (bare foot)
Some people wore shoes (all children got shoes)
Some people did the shimmy (did the shimmy)
Some did the boogaloo (boogie woogie boogaloo)
Some singing in the chorus (ah)
Some singing in the rain (singing in the rain)
Everybody was different (some people are different)
Everybody was the same (we’re all the same)

Birds singing in the trees (tweet tweet tweet)
People beatin’ on the drums
Frog sitting on a lily pad (sitting on a lily)
Goin’ “hum hum hum” (ribet, ribet, ribet)
Everybody let their light shine (let your light shine)
Made a joyful sound (hallelujah)
The whole world was shakin’ (shakin', shakin')
Goin’ round and round

CHORUS

Now don’t you worry, (don’t you worry)
Now don’t you fret (don’t you fret)
I’m tellin’ you this time (this time brother)
Now don’t forget (don’t forget)
I’m telln’ everybody (everybody)
Everybody everywhere (everywhere)
Gonna do it all over (all over the world)
You got to be there

You got to be there (you got to be there)
You got to be there (you got to be there)
Put the food on the table (on the table)
Put the music in the air (in the air)
Everybody they happy (oo)
Everybody be fair (oo)
Everybody have happy (yeah)
You got to be there (you got to be there)
You got to be there (you got to be there)
Repeat to fade

Nighty Noodles
©Bill Harley, All rights reserved
Reprints with permission only

Also found on "Town Around the Bend"

Stars are twinklin’ in the sky
The wind whispers its lullaby
The moon looks like a lemon pie
Nighty noodles to you

Birdies sleepin’ in the trees
Fishies sleepin’ in the seas
And I’m singing this melody
Nighty noodles to you

Oh nighty noodle-oodle-oodle-oodle
Oodle-oodle-oodle to you
I love you oodle-oodle-oodle-oodle
Oodle-oodle-oodles it’s true
You know I do

Put your jammies on and jump right in
Pull those covers up to your chin
Listen to me tell you again
Nighty noodles to you

Nighty noodles to you