There's a Pea on My Plate

 

 

There's a Pea on my Plate
©Bill Harley, All rights reserved
Reprints with permission only

Also found on "One More Time"

The never-ending struggle. A kid's first line of defense is a closed mouth. It's probably not worth winning, if you're the parent.

There’s a pea on my plate that my mother put there
She knows I don’t like peas but she doesn’t care
She says come on try it now it’s not the worst
If you want some ice cream, you must eat that pea first
And I really did put the pea on my spoon
But I made a mistake and my mouth closed too soon
It slipped off the spoon and fell on to the floor – whoops!
My mom said don’t worry, she’s got plenty more

There’s a pea on my plate that my mother put there
Peas make me vomit but she doesn’t care
They’re wrinkled and mushy and slimy and green
I wonder what happened that made her so mean
There’s really no telling how much this will hurt
But I have to eat it ‘cause I want dessert
It shouldn’t have happened, it’s true I suppose
Somehow by mistake it got stuck up my nose

There’s a pea on my plate that my mother put there
She knows I’m not hungry, but she doesn’t care
I tell her if she makes me eat it, I’ll die
She says that she’s sorry to hear that, bye bye
The pea rolls on my plate, forward and back
It rolls round and round like a train on a track
Faster and faster it huffs and it puffs
Till it rolls of the track and my mom says “Enough!”

There’s a pea on my plate that my mother put there
It’s cold and it’s clammy, but she doesn’t care
It’s hard to believe that just one stupid pea
Is all that stands between some ice cream and me
So we sit at the table, just me and my mom
My sister, my brother, my father, they’re gone
I hear the clock ticking, now it’s getting late
For me and my mom and that pea on my plate

There’s a pea on my plate that my mother put there
She says that she really thinks she’s being fair
Just one little bite and this whole thing will stop
And I can have ice cream with sprinkles on top
She knows that she’s got me, she’ll win, there’s no doubt
She knows ice cream’s something I can’t live without
She knows this is one fight that she cannot lose
I say, “Skip the ice cream, may I be excused?”

A Light That Always Shines
©Bill Harley, All rights reserved
Reprints with permission only

The rhythm goes back and forth between five and three, so it's kind of tricky. I like to sing this.

The sun above my head
Lets me know the way
The sun above my head sings to me today

CHORUS
There’s a light that always shines
There’s a road that never ends
There’s a song inside our hearts
That calls us home again

The road beneath my feet lets me know the way
The road beneath my feet sings to me today

CHORUS

The drum beat of my heart lets me know the way
The drum beat of my heart sings to me today

CHORUS

The sun above my head, the road beneath my feet
The drum beat of my heart
I hear them sing to me

CHORUS

Oh No, Not Again
©Bill Harley, All rights reserved
Reprints with permission only

Just one of those days. I was thinking "Miss Mary Mack", but Steve, the drummer, had different things in mind.

Early this morning, put on my clothes
Brushed my teeth, wiped my nose
But the trouble really stared down at my feet
I slipped my shoes on nice and neat
I pulled on the laces like I always do
But the darn things broke right in two
The laces broke put me in a jam
I gotta go, but here I am

Oh no (Oh no)
Not again (Not again)
It seems this day (It seems this day)
Will never end (Will never end)
Oh mommy mommy what can I do
I broke my lace so I can’t tie my shoe

So I asked Daisy to go to the store
And buy me a shoelace, cause I need one more
She said she’d go, said “I won’t squawk
But first you have to sweep my walk”
So I went to sweep her walk, bing bang boom!
But I couldn’t do it, cause I couldn’t find a broom

I asked Joe for a broom to borrow
I said “I need it today and not tomorrow”
He said “Fine.” He said, “That’s okay
But first please take my trash away”
Well I went to take the trash, I was ready to start
But I couldn’t do it, cause I didn’t have a cart

So I asked Anne for a cart she’d lend
So all my troubles would finally end
She said, “Sure. That’s just fine
But first please fix this roof of mine”
I went to fix her roof, and saw what was the matter
But I couldn’t do it cause I didn’t have a ladder

So I asked Sam for a ladder to climb
And fix some roof that wasn’t mine
Sam said “Sure. That’s not hard
But first you’ve got to rake my yard”
I said, “All right. That’s a piece of cake”
But I couldn’t do it cause I didn’t have a rake

I asked Debbie. I said, “Oh please
Lend me a rake. I’m on my knees.”
She said she would. She said, “That’s that.
But first you have to feed my cat”

I said, “Okay!” So I fed her cat
And that was that
And I got a rake
Like a piece of cake
And I raked Sam’s yard
And it wasn’t hard
And I got a ladder
And saw what was the matter
The roof wasn’t mine
But I fixed it fine
Anne gave me a cart
So I could start
Took the trash away
Joe said, “Okay”
I got a broom
With a bing bang boom
And I swept Daisy’s walk
And she didn’t squawk
She went to the store
For one lace more
I tied my show
And that was through
But I looked at the clock
And scratched my head
Cause it was time
To go to bed

A Cowboy's Life
©Bill Harley, All rights reserved
Reprints with permission only

My son Dylan liked this song enough to learn it on guitar and sing it for his class. He also is a pretty good sport. Tying up your dad may not be the best idea. Make sure he's in a good mood first.

Howdy there, buster, my name is Pete
I’m the toughest old cowpoke you’ll find on the street
I guess I been ropin’ since I was three
That makes two whole years, so don’t mess with me

I like to holler and I like to hoot
Track mud through the kitchen with my cowboy boots
And leave the ‘fridgerator door open wide
Til somebody tells me to go play outside

CHORUS
Whoopee-ti-yi-yay, whoopee ti-yi-yo
Whoopee-ti, won’t you buy me some cheerios?
Whoopee-ti-yi-ow! I got a scrape on my knee
It’s a cowboy’s life for me

I don’t have a horse and my mom took my gun
But I’ve got a hat and I still can have fun
I don’t have a doggie but my neighbor’s do
His name is Chester, he looks just like you

Sometimes I’m a good guy and I wear a white shirt
But it’s hard to stay good when you play in the dirt
So then I’m an outlaw and I have to be bad
So I go get some clothesline and tie up my dad

CHORUS

My daddy tells me the cowboys are gone
Then he gets on his mower and rides round the lawn
But I think there’s still a home on the range
Where if you take a bath, they look at you strange

My best friend David, he lives down the street
He’s not a cowboy, he’s a spaceman
That’s almost as neat
He’s gonna take me on a ride throught the stars
And I’ll be the first cowboy on mars.

CHORUS

Put Your Helmet On
©Bill Harley, All rights reserved
Reprints with permission only

I know a kid who's alive today because he wore his helmet. I don't like to tell kids what to do, but I don't mind in this case. I wear one, you should too. And so should your dad - tell him I said so.

It’s a beautiful day, sunny outside
Get out the bike, let’s go for a ride
Fill up the tires, the water bottle too,
Then there’s one more thing to do

You’ve got to put your helmet on, put a lid on it
Your brain’s inside you need every little bit of it
Put your helmet on, strap it on tight
Every single time you go for a ride

If you fall off your bike and the helmet goes crack
That’s okay cause your head’s intact
Put your helmet on, strap it on tight
Everything will be all right

Some kid says that’s just not cool
If you talk like that you’re just a fool
I’ve met a lot of heads, but I never did meet
A head as hard as the street

CHORUS
You’ve got to put your helmet on
You’ve got to put your helmet on
We’re singing you this song
So you will put your helmet on

Put your helmet on, it shows you’re smart
Coz it keeps your head from fallin apart
The helmet is the thing that’s gonna protect
That itty bitty bump sittin’ on your neck

You can buy new clothes, new shoes you bet
But the brain between your ears is the only one you get
All colors all shapes they look so fine
I got dinosaur stickers on mine

Everybody’s wearin’ em everywhere you go
Your teacher and your doctor and old Aunt Flo
Tommy Terry, Joey, Jerry, Peter, Peggy Sue
Don’t forget Dad, he’s got brains too

CHORUS

The Love of the Game
©Bill Harley, All rights reserved
Reprints with permission only

I wrote this for my son Noah after his team went a whole season without scoring. I honestly believe we're better off if we let kids play by themselves. But this song is for the kids who keep playing, and for the coaches who remember that for almost all of us, sports is not a religion about winning, but a way to enjoy being alive.

The first day of practice, it was easy to see
Our soccer team wasn’t all it could be
The coach kicked the ball out, said, “Let’s have some fun”
Some kid yelled out, “Watch me hit a home run”
The first game that week was quite a surprise
We were losing six - nothing before we opened our eyes
The score was twelve - zip at the end of the day
Our coach called us over and I heard him say

CHORUS
Sometimes you lose, and sometimes you win
If they knock you down, just get up again
If you’ve done your best, then don’t be ashamed
‘Cause you play for the love of the game

So I showed up the next week all ready to play
But wouldn’t you know, it went the same way
Their team scored first, then again and again
And again and again and again and again
Week after week it was always the same
We never scored and we lost every game
The other teams won and the other teams cheered
While the voice of my coach just rang in my ears, sayin’

CHORUS

Eight games we’ve lost, now how many more?
Some kid asked our coach, “What’s it feel like to score?”
But still I show up on each Saturday
‘Cause I like to run, and I love to play

Last game of the season, what could be worse
Our team in last, their team in first
They’re big and fast, we’re small slow
Who picked these teams that’s what I want to know
Their team scored first, but then we held fast
We stayed in position, sometimes we passed
With time running out, it looked like they’d win
Till I centered the ball and Todd kicked it in
The ref blew the whistle, the game was all done
The score was all tied, but it felt like we’d won
Our coach screamed and shouted, he yelled “Way to go!”
I said, “Hey coach, calm down, don’t you know?”

CHORUS

Don't You Just Know It
©Smith and Vincent, Cotillion Music,
with additional verses by Bill Harley

This is an old New Orleans song written by Huey "Piano" Smith - I wrote some new verses. What gloriously dumb song.

What’cha gonna do when the wind don’t blow!
Don’tcha just know it
Get out the oars cause you’re gonna have to row
Don’tcha just know it

CHORUS
Ha ha ha ha (ha ha ha ha)
Way-oh (way-oh)
Gooba gooba gooba gooba
Ha ha ha ha (ha ha ha ha)
Ha ha ha ha (ha ha ha ha)
Way-oh (way-oh)

Apples and bannans are my favorite fruits
Don’tcha just know it
I like to go swimming in my birthday suit
Don’tcha just know it

CHORUS

My brother got a hamster and we thought it was a boy
Don’tcha just know it
It had a dozen babies and my momma’s overjoyed
Don’tcha just know it

CHORUS (2 times)

Yesterday I went to the zoo
Don’tcha just know it
I saw a little monkey and he looked like you

CHORUS (2 times)

Moving Day
©Bill Harley, All rights reserved
Reprints with permission only

Also found on "One More Time"

I think this song means more with a kid singing, and Sara Miller did a great job.

Car’s full,
Trunks packed -
Stuff on the roof rack.
Mom says
We leave soon.
Last time
In my room.
One last look out my window -
The yard,
the street,
the place I know.
I go, they stay -
It’s moving day.

Here’s where
My bed stood.
Floors made
Of old wood.
Mom left
The light on
Walls marked
With crayon.
The door I slammed when I was mad.
The place I cried when I was sad.
I go, they stay
It’s moving day.

When I grow up, I might come back
To this place again.
If I find some kids live here
I’ll tell them who I am.

“Let’s go,” Dad calls
I guess that’s all
Goodbye house,
Goodbye room
I won’t be back soon
Down the steps,
Out the front door
Now I don’t live here
Anymore.
Part of my heart stays
On moving day

You Shoulda Been There
©Bill Harley, All rights reserved
Reprints with permission only

Also found on "One More Time"

I'd been listening to a group called The Swan Silvertones - an old gospel group. This is what came out. Here's to Claude Jeter and the rest of the Silvertones. And here's to everybody getting along.

You shoulda been there
You shoulda been there
You shoulda been there
Everybody came

I’ve been looking all over
I’ve been looking for you
Did you hear what happened
Did you hear the news
People talking ‘bout the party
Everybody everywhere
Everybody had a good time
You shoulda been there

They came from the mountains
They came from the sea
They came from New York
From gay Paree
They came from China, Zimbabwe too
Everybody had a good time
Man where were you!

CHORUS
You shoulda been there
You shoulda been there
There was food on the table
There was music in the air
Everybody was happy
Everybody was fair
Everybody had a good time
You shoulda been there


Some people came bare foot
Some people wore shoes
Some people did the shimmy
Some did the boogaloo
Some sang in the chorus
Some sang in the rain
Everybody was different
Everybody was the same

Birdies singing in the trees
People beatin’ on the drums
Frog sitting on a lily pad
Goin’ “hum hum hum”
Everybody let their light shine
Made a joyful sound
The whole world was shakin’
Goin’ round and round

CHORUS

Now don’t you worry, now don’t you fret
I’m tellin’ you this time, so don’t forget
I’m telln’ everybody
Everybody everywhere
Gonna do it all over
You got to be there
You got to be there
Etc

Things Will Look Better in the Morning
©Bill Harley, All rights reserved
Reprints with permission only

Written after a Legos incident. Those pieces get harder and harder to work with, the later it gets. Like I said before, I'm not big on advice, but here's some.

That’s the third time it’s fallen apart
And you want to try it again
I know you think I’m not that smart
But I can see where this will end
When you get tired, the pieces don’t fit
It makes you mad I know
It makes you mad I know
Let me tell you what your grandma said
When I was your age, a million years ago

Things will look better in the morning
Whatever it is will surely keep
Things will look better in the morning
Give it up and go to sleep

In the morning when you wake up
The sun will shine and the birds will call
All the problems that seem so big
Will hardly be there at all
I don’t know why it works that way
But I promise you that it’s true
When you get tired, you drive yourself crazy
And you drive me crazy too

Whatever you’ve done’s enough for one day
Put your head on your pillow
And float away

I know you don’t like bedtimes
But let me give you some news
I’m older but when I get tired
I get cranky too