Monsters in the Bathroom

I was just a kid
I never will forget
I woke up late one night
I lay there in my bed
my family was a slumbrin’
no one was around
I was almost back asleep
when I thought I heard a sound
a creak upon the staircase
I could plainly hear something there was moving
it filled my heart with fear
it couldn’t be my mother
it couldn’t be my dad
my brother John slept next to me
he’s the only one I had
I thought:

Monsters in the bathroom
monsters in the hall
monsters in the closet
hangin’ from the wall
I thought they’d come and eat my parents
I’d be all alone
then they’d nibble on my toes
right down to the bone

So I pulled the covers o’er my head,
my knees began to shake
My mind said, “Just go back to sleep”
but my body stayed awake
I thought of all the monsters
in the movies I had seen
They’d all been pretty scary,
all been pretty mean
So I tried to calm myself down
“There’s nothing to be afraid of,
nothing there at all”
I had just convinced myself
when I heard it in the hall


I could hear the monster breathing
I could hear the monster sigh
The monster stood right over me
I kissed the world good-bye
And then the lights came on
I screamed “I’m dead”
But the monster was my mother
and this is what she said:
I was having a midnight snack
when I thought I heard you call
So I came up the stairs
I tiptoed down the hall
When I was just a kid like you
I’d wake up in the night
I’d hear a creak, begin to freak,
so my dad turned on the lights
I thought there were:


“Oh mom that’s just plain stupid
I never get afraid
You must have been a chicken
or not been very brave
But my brother John
he hates the dark
So please leave on the lights”
He says:


© Bill Harley, all rights reserved. Reprints with permission only.


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