I found an old book in the library
While I was searching for something to read
It had hexes and charms and spells to do harm
It seemed like it was calling to me
There were chapters on powders and potions
It even had Love Potion #9
But I stopped messin’ when I saw it had a lesson
On how to give the old stinkeye

I’m talking ’bout
Stinkeye – it’s a nasty old stare
Stinkeye – some kind of poisonous glare
Stinkeye – be careful what you do
Because it might come back on you

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah

It said if there’s someone who’s hurt you
Or somebody’s been doing you wrong
Just study this spell, you learn it quite well
And they won’t be happy for long
So I made a list of people who hurt me
And anyone that ever made me cry
When I thought of getting’ even, I knew I wasn’t leavin’
Till I learned to give the old stinkeye


I took the book in the restroom to try it
I spoke the spell without any fear
But then I started to shake, I made a big mistake
I took a look in the mirror
I gave myself the stinkeye
I gave myself the stinkeye

Oh my eyes were buggin’ out, my head was spinnin’ round
I passed out for an hour or so
I woke up hopping around, making croaking sounds
I’d turned myself into a toad
So listen up everybody
Be careful what you do
Stay away from evil books and don’t practice dirty looks
Or the same thing could happen to you


© Bill Harley, all rights reserved. Reprints with permission only.


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